are you still at the devil's house?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
