The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
...so i touched it.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize