Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
