if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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