im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
