Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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