It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
