Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize