it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How naked do you want me to be?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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