You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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