Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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