Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
