I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
