dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
