If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have fence marks all over my body
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
