You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize