Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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