He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
