the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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