i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize