DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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