Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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