and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
