C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Less talking, more tequila
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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