I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
