What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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