fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, beer. Big fan.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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