so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
