dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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