You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
