okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
