Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just high enough for therapy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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