Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
