somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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