You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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