He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
