no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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