grandma shit on top of the toilet
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
