we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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