I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
