I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
