Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
