also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
