i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize