NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My liver just had a heart attack.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
