I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
