yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
