what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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