to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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