sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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