I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
