Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
