...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
