so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
