i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
