He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
