You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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