ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
