yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize