Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dick very happy bro
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
