If i come over, it means nothing
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm too high and old for this...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
