Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
