Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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