Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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