Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
