I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
