sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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