i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
