im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
