she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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