I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize