Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
