the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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